


Papyrus the Town Drunk

by AnonJ



Series: The Pap Chat Logs [19]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drinking, Gen, Papyrus Has Issues, Papyrus Knows More Than He Lets On, Papyrus Remembers Resets, in a not quite serious way, not as angsty as it could have been
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 22:12:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12467040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonJ/pseuds/AnonJ
Summary: Time is on a bender, and so is Papyrus





	Papyrus the Town Drunk

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 6:43 PM**

...AU idea that's definitely not canon compliant but i think it could work

so  @everyone who wants to hear about Papyrus the Town Drunk?

####  **RunawayLadyEnt** **-** **Yesterday at 7:33 PM**

Hell yes

####  **Karbon** **-** **Yesterday at 7:33 PM**

I'll pass on this one

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 7:33 PM**

It's like iop's bet au except more awful

####  **Karbon** **-** **Yesterday at 7:33 PM**

hf

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 7:33 PM**

omg

Interested

####  **Phone Dad** **-** **Yesterday at 7:33 PM**

Sure lets hear it

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 7:35 PM**

No one in snowdin can really remember when Papyrus started drinking

It seemed the tall skeleton was always on the other side of 'comfortably buzzed'

he was just that guy who always half-stumbled everywhere, kept bugging the captain for a job, and somehow even managed to spar with her despite the obvious impairment!

but everyone knew that if you wanted something actually done  _ on time _ , the skeleton brothers were not the monsters to do it

Sans was simply too lazy to do the job

But Papyrus would happily agree, and do a good job  _ if _ it ever got done

and it might get done three days late, or an hour early, or even not at all with papyrus swearing he did it earlier

...sometimes, it might even get done before you ask him, with Papyrus swearing up and down that you asked last tuesday, the thirteenth, and weren't you going out to celebrate your sister's birthday tomorrow?

It's monday the eleventh

Your sister’s birthday is next month

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 7:43 PM**

omg

I'm here for this

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 7:43 PM**

But that's just Papyrus, classic Papyrus, too drunk to keep the time, right?

####  **Batter_Sempai** **-** **Yesterday at 7:43 PM**

hhhhh

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 7:43 PM**

he's so drunk he defies the laws of time, incredible

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 7:43 PM**

"Maybe if you didn't drink so much, you could know what day it is." Undyne says

"I DRINK SO MUCH  _ BECAUSE _ I CAN NEVER TELL WHAT DAY IT IS." Papyrus replies

"TIME IS AN ILLUSION, AND WE ARE ALL ALWAYS ALIVE OR DEAD, AND I CAN NEVER TELL WHICH!"

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 7:45 PM**

ah yes classic papyrus

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 7:45 PM**

((An AU where Papyrus copes with the Resets by pretending to be  ~~ being ~~ drunk all the time))

((It's an excuse.  ~~ It's not just an excuse ~~ ))

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 7:46 PM**

ahhhhhhhh

what better way to avoid awkward questions

####  **Batter_Sempai** **-** **Yesterday at 7:49 PM**

hhh

of course it would be sad ;w;

is this to help him disguise his dissociating?

because i can definitely see it happen

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 7:50 PM**

yeppers

in this AU, Papyrus and flowey have never met

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 7:50 PM**

what

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 7:51 PM**

That is, Papyrus doesn't know  _ why _ time is going on a bender

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 7:51 PM**

welcome to hell apparently

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 7:51 PM**

which is why Papyrus has decided to join it

It gives him a good excuse

Don't know what day it is? It's cause you’re drunk!

Thought a friend was dead but they're actually alive? Drunk!

Thought a friend was alive but they're actually dead? Drunk!  _ (But not drunk ENOUGH) _

On the plus side, there's no way in hell this au is getting a king papyrus ending

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 7:56 PM**

pffff

####  **Batter_Sempai** **-** **Yesterday at 7:59 PM**

;w;

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 8:01 PM**

also means he'd be even more isolated though

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 8:02 PM**

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

You'd be surprised on what drinking can do for your social life

it's like, he's still the weird skeleton, but everyone knows why he's weird, so it's acceptable?

plus, he's still Undyne's trainee, and he's master of the Drunken Fist fighting style

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 8:04 PM**

lol nice

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 8:05 PM**

Besides, being constantly drunk means no one's going to think he's a striped kid

And he gets to hang out with the dogs

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 8:05 PM**

still he'd have a hard time confiding in people

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 8:05 PM**

probably yeah

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 8:05 PM**

plus like, what if people tried to take advantage of him

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 8:05 PM**

at least in a  _ meaningful _ way

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 8:06 PM**

like manipulate him into doing things for them, or something

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 8:06 PM**

he can still say his weird things about "TIME BEING AN ILLUSION"

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 8:06 PM**

like the dogs try to get him to give them all his bones

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 8:06 PM**

@Caroline he's still  _ Papyrus _

Yeah, he's constantly drunk, but half of that is alcohol and the other half is theatrics and being Papyrus

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 8:07 PM**

well yeah

how would he react to something like that?

just give them his bones, or

I'm assuming he's more self-possessed than the dogs think he is

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 8:08 PM**

PFFT CARO I JUST

####  **foxtamer113** **-** **Yesterday at 8:08 PM**

What does Sans think of this?   
Like, his little bro is suddenly drinking, does he not care???

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 8:08 PM**

OK SO I WAS THINKING ABOUT PAPYRUS DOING A TRADE

"SURE, I'LL GIVE YOU MY BONES IF YOU GIVE ME YOUR TEETH."

AND THEN I THOUGHT TEETH WAS TOO CREEPY OF A WORD SO I ASKED 'WHAT'S A GOOD SNONYM FOR TEETH?'

_ CANINES _

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 8:10 PM**

omg what

also papyrus and sans drink together I imagine

####  **Batter_Sempai** **-** **Yesterday at 8:12 PM**

AJ OH MY GOD

PUN

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 8:13 PM**

@foxtamer113 @Caroline Sans is kinda ??? about it. It's not like Papyrus is _hurting_ anyone, not even himself, and he seems happier this way? Sans was very alarmed at first but as time went by (for sans at least) and he saw that Papyrus seemed to function about as well while drinking as not...

Eh. He's lazy

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 8:13 PM**

lol that works

like either this or spending tons of time and effort trying to find a "better solution"

####  **foxtamer113** **-** **Yesterday at 8:14 PM**

Ah XP

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 8:14 PM**

does papyrus get to be sad though

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 8:14 PM**

yep

he's allowed to be.

...i mean, he prefers  _ not to _ in front of other people because they might decide it's because of the alcohol

but it's like papyrus always says:

"TIME NO LONGER EXISTS AND CONSEQUENCES ARE INCONSEQUENTIAL!"

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 8:24 PM**

ah yes

I'm imagining like "ITS A MIRACLE I HAVEN'T KILLED MYSELF BY NOW AND FRANKLY I DESERVE A MEDAL"

####  **Iop** **-** **Yesterday at 8:32 PM**

all i saw was Pap being a drunk, then something about it being like bet au but worse

this is good shit AJ

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 8:32 PM**

ah yes bet AU

####  **Iop** **-** **Yesterday at 8:32 PM**

he still kinda drinks in bet au

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 8:33 PM**

papyrus is like "IM CELEBRATING MY TWENTIETH DEATHDAY WITH A DRINK!"

####  **Iop** **-** **Yesterday at 8:37 PM**

PFFFFFF

ACCURATE

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 8:59 PM**

...It's been twenty years since his death or he's died twenty times?

can't be the former, pap doesn't have a good time-sense anymore

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 9:00 PM**

but yeah  @Iop this is kinda similar to your bet au as in "skeleton does shenanigans which can be hilarious but are actually (the result of) a coping mechanism"

and worse as in "i said skele _ ton _ not skele _ ton _ **_s_ ** "

####  **Iop** **-** **Yesterday at 9:01 PM**

aaaaaaah

i love it

####  **AnonJ** **-** **Yesterday at 9:03 PM**

but also better as in "at least papyrus can socialize and isn't treated like a child"

####  **Iop** **-** **Yesterday at 9:03 PM**

:d

####  **Caroline** **-** **Yesterday at 9:20 PM**

mmyes


End file.
